Steve Jobs’ Perfect Presentation Secrets

steve-jobs-gaunt

By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – Just like you and me, Apple head honcho Steve Jobs took a fresh body blow yesterday from the news of increased turmoil in the Middle East. With flotillas and vuvuzelas threatening to end the the world’s diverse peoples before we can ride the wave of globalization, etc., is there any news for hope?

Yes.

Steve Jobs’ perfect presentation secrets. Armed with these centuries (1990′s) old presentation secrets, you’ll not only bury that Brit that wants your jobbie, you’ll bury your surviving colleagues with laughs and cries of ” Sweet Jesus gangbang, would you look at that!”

The Brutal Times flew me to sunny San Francisco to sit down with Jobs and pick his brain re presentation prowess.

DAEMON MAILER: Steve, it’s a pleasure to meet you. I hear you had dinner – lunch – with the President.

STEVE JOBS: Yes.

DM: So, how’d that go? Did you feel like you were selling out?  I know after Eazy-E did that, with Bush, you know, Ice Cube kind off sounded off on the whole thing. Has anybody kind of …rained on your parade?

SJ: No.

DM: Ah- hah. So, what is it about your presentations that makes them so great? What do you do in the boardroom when all of us are sleeping to really go the extra mile and clinch the bronze?

SJ: I use PowerPoint.

Understand?!?

About Daemon Mailer

Sweet little Daemon Mailer invented the Internet in his garage while he was trying unsuccessfully to invent the first rental video store. Like the rest, Daeme is also making moves to cash in on BT's success and avoid eating peanut butter out of a jar livin' in his car the rest of his life. All during the night as he wiggles to an 'fro, some kinda machine records his thoughts, churning out a pile o crud to be compiled in the forthcoming tome, I am Spam.
This entry was posted in Highlighted Brutality and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Steve Jobs’ Perfect Presentation Secrets

  1. cartlund sawyer says:

    I searched for ‘vuvuzela’ and I got this. Thanks, guys.

Don't Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>