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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
Ratko Mladic Changing His Name to Rick?
By Styles Cradgerock, THE HAGUE – The Hague’s newest catch, accused war criminal and Serbian general Ratko Mladic shocked followers on Twitter when he tweeted today:
“I’m thinking of changing my name…to Rick or…maybe Slobodan.”
Posted in Presidential Daily Brief
Tagged bb fun corp, beatles workout gadget, facebook, ghosts, julian assange jeans, matsumoto boy, muscleinin, ratko mladic changing his name to rick?, serbia wra crimes, slobodan, social networking tools, styles cradgerock, the ab four, the beatles, the brutal times, the hague, twitter
3 Comments
New Brahms Album Spoilers Rock Cafe Society
By DJ Salinger, BERLIN – Say the name Brahms and what comes to mind? Brahms, probably. But for die hard Brahms fans, the name Brahms has become synonymous with some of the world’s filthiest curse words.
Know why?
Brahms hasn’t put out an album since 1897.
Two Monks Go Into a Starbucks
By Yves Dropper, The Holy City of Toronto, COLLEGE N’ ST. GEORGE STARBUCKS – So, two monks go into a Starbucks, sit down n’ bitch.
Joined in progress –
TSA: From Now On Only Good-looking Passengers Will Have Their Bags Handled
By El Toro, NEWARK – Newark, it sounds like New York, but it’s not. One of a number of busy U.S. hubs where people are petted down, Newark boasts long line-ups and stinky bathrooms.
Posted in Featured Brutality
Tagged accidental airlines, dangers of airline travel, el toro, facebook, finding a dime bag in an old running shoe, girl's bathroom, mingers, pert swedish airline industry insiders, subs, the biblical figure solomon, the brutal times, the war on terror is over, the weary airline traveller, TSA: from now on only good-looking passengers will have their bags handled, twitter, ugly betty, vuvuzela, will i am
5 Comments
Exclusive: Top Models Stay Thin by Snorting Cocaine
By Smia Oots, Tokyo, GASPANIC SHIBUYA – Tokyo town criers sent tremors through this already much shock-rocked city early this morning when they confirmed what everybody already knew all along.
Top models in Tokyo, Bahrain, and Moscow are staying thin by snorting cocaine.
Posted in Business Jesus
Tagged 000 millisieverts of cocaine per hour, 50, Business Jesus, exclusive: top models stay thin by snorting cocaine, fluffer, gaspanic shibuya, jay-Z.my goodies, julian assange jeans, millisieverts, playboy mansion cooties, professor rant foaming, the brutal times, tokyo, vuvuzelas
2 Comments
Frankenband Spring: Billy Corgan Quits Smashing Pumpkins
By DJ Salinger, DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Billy Corgan, founding father of Green Day and the Smashing Pumpkins, quit the Smashing Pumpkins yesterday, after fans complained the band’s Ikea performance was “about as exciting as waiting for a bus.”
500-year-old Book is Really Boring
By El Toro, PITTSBURGH – A 500-year-old book somebody found here the other day is really boring sources are telling the Brutal Times this morning.
“I didn’t even open the book – just looking at it made me drool all over myself,”
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
Tagged 500-year-old book is really boring, el toro, indiana jones' poop chute, inspired to rap on a bus, it made me drool all over myself, julian assange, osama bin laden, philosophy students, pittsburgh, professor rant foaming, radiohead vs kid rock, roy kesey at mcsweeney's, the brutal times
2 Comments