Warm Topic Archives: barry hussein

Dad Says Chinese Ship Violated International Law

By Barry Hussein, MACAO – The Internet Machine was abuzz this morning with news that a dad, Roland Hawthe, 22, a barista native to Long Island says that a Chinese ship violated international law.

China has accused the USA of violating international law for sailing sailing away why don’t you take me sailing away i don’t know where I’m goin’ to in Chinese waters.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Interview Schminterbiew

By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO –

The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.

Posted in Delicious Toppings | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Gore Warns Celebrities Over Lack of Headroom

By Barry Hussein, HOUSTON – Nobel prize-winning man Al Gore met with concerned celebrities this morning at Denny’s to discuss the nation’s largest decline of headroom since the 1930’s.

Celebrities, Gore says need headroom more than most because their heads are proven to be more inflated than nobodies, or typical consumers.

“We have to act now,” Gore said.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Bin Laden: Al Qaeda to Cut Part-Timers, Close Schools

By Styles Cradgerock, with Minx Cradgerock , PARIS – As hard times are felt all across the globe due to the worsening of the financial crisis everyone is looking for ways to pinch pennies and froog to the new frugal beat of 2009.

Duh.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Chinese Democracy Bail-out to Cost $986 Billion

As details of the Democrats’ 1 trillion dollar budget request continue to leak out the president-elect has been mulling the final touches of what amounts to the priciest financial bail-out plan made in US political history.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

The Dark Side of Ban Ki-moon: Operation Pussyfoot

By Barry Hussein, NEW YORK CITY – Despite leading a busy life like everybody else and having problems of his own spry UN Secretary-General is not about to let New Years Eve get in the way of giving Israel a […]

Posted in Featured Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , | 1 Comment

U.S. Presidential Debate Spoilers

By El Toro, USA AMERICA – Mr Obama, who is running to be the first black US president, will wear a blue tie. Mr McCain, who is running to be the oldest white US president, will wear a red tie. […]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Pentagon Chef Admits Strategy in Afghanistan Not Succeeding

VIRGINIA- Revered Pentagon head chef Pierre de Papineau has locked horns with the White House over the administration’s plans to continue what the Grande Chef calls “a strategy that is, frankly, I tell you honestly, not working,” in the war in Afghanistan.

Posted in Grande Chef Otto | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Palin Babygate Entangles Edwards

(By Barry Hussein) ST PAUL, MINNESOTA – With only days and minutes remaining in the super-charged 2008 presidential race newly-cemented Republican vice-presidential pick Governor Sarah Palin is turning heads and pricking up ears with her peppy plunk and can-do attitude.

Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

11 Year-old: “Obama plus Biden Spells Bin Laden”

As Barrack Obama’s throngs of gyrating bikini-clad supporters are just coming to terms with his formal renunciation of his decision Thursday to select his wife of eighteen years Michelle Obama as vice-presidential running mate, a new shocker is shock-rocking this seaside mountain villa.

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 4 Comments