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Warm Topic Archives: tokyo
Friday the 13th: the Book Was Better
By Shane Butter, TOKYO – Oh god, how I was so looking forward to the new Friday the 13th movie. I read the book last summer during reading week as a break from grading my philosophy grad student papers, and when I heard they were gonna make a movie outta the thing I pooped my pants!
Posted in Stories For Bottoms
Tagged canada's barack obama, cock blocker, crow's feet, friday the 13th, friday the 13th 2009, horror movies, jack black, jason voorhees, laugh lines, machete, maldives, michael bay, pulitzer prize-winners, sake, stephen harper, sushi, the book was better, the brutal times, tokyo
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U2 = SoftBank: New CD Promotes Japanese Cell Phones
www.thebrutaltimes.com, By DJ Salinger, TOKYO – The new U2 album has debuted in Japan with some copies featuring a sticker on the front jacket of a grey equal sign logo (=) dead center.
And?
Ubiquitous Japanese cell phone giant SoftBank uses the exact same logo as their logo.
Roppongi is a ‘Sausagefest’ Declares Tokyo Mayor
By Ohashi Jozu, Roppongi, TOKYO – As you know many foreigners had come to Tokyo. The purpose of this travel is well-known – it is to sex Japanese female. Every year so many foreign man came to Tokyo with all-night backpack seeking to enjoy such activity.
But no more.
Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’
Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.
Posted in Hollywood Pap, Latest Brutality, Schadenfreude
Tagged afghanistan, bloggerthe brutal times, brutal, coffee, confidence, cool people, el toro, Iraq, mygoodies, pinch, pricey, psychology, sex, starbucks, tokyo
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A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa: Dining Out
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – As you know, hipsters of all shapes and sizes travel all over the world every year lugging their Canadian flag backpacks to and fro. Some of these so-called “backpackers” wind up on the highly-acidified streets of Shimokitazawa, a little ol’ town in Tokyo, I purchased from an ancient Japanese man a few years ago.
Man Sexually Pleasures Goat for Plush Japanese Job
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Young American business student Jeremy Savage, 28 says he “dreamed of coming to Japan for years”, lured by promises of easy sex with loose Japanese women, carte blanche (“blank card” in Canadian English) free alcohol, [...]
Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Japan, Schadenfreude
Tagged british english, goats, Japan, job interviews, jobs, jobs in japan, mistakes, ohashi jozu, pitfalls, sexual longing, sexual pleasure, sony, the brutal times, tokyo, work in japan
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Japan Develops Supersonic 1-Ply Toilet Paper
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO- The tiny island nation of Japan has triumphed over nature and China in its announcement Tuesday evening that fastfood and toy giant BB FunCorp has developed the world`s first supersonic 1-ply toliet tissue. Japan, which occupies [...]
2 McDonald’s Cheeseburgers Are Cheaper Than 1 Double Cheeseburger
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO- As world food prices soar and balloon out of control prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies is reporting that on site inspections conclusively indicate that 2 McDonald’s cheeseburgers are cheaper than one double cheeseburger. “We found [...]