Man Sexually Pleasures Goat for Plush Japanese Job

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Young American business student Jeremy Savage, 28 says he “dreamed of coming to Japan for years”, lured by promises of easy sex with loose Japanese women, carte blanche (“blank card” in Canadian English) free alcohol, and unlimited access to limited edition Nintendo video games.

“Boy, was I in for a surprise,” he says now.

Savage, who is fresh-faced and disarmingly clean for a foreigner, thought he’d “scored big time” last Thursday when he was offered a much-sought-after job interview with prestigious Japanese electronics company, Sony. As you know, Sony created the fantastically popular iPod, or “Internet Podular” as it is known in Japon. This handheld music game is even popular with some foreigner who got a Japanese girlfriend or wife.

But.

“When I entered the prestigious Sony interview cube, suddenly Mr. Sato Jiro, who had spoken to me thrice on the telephone prior to the interview popped out of a secret door in the floor (this is called “doko demo doa” in Japanese). He then shouted at me that if I really wanted to work at Sony, in the semiconductor division anyway, that I should ‘enter’ the goat!”

Many large electronic company got such a test. It is to show enthusiastic happiness and making friends.

But.

“Mr. Sato and Mr Steven Tottlemeyer Hainsone III, who is his plebe, insisted I pleasure the goat immediately. When I politely demurred, by saying I needed to take a few days and think about it, they started ridiculing me. It was really terrible,” Mr. Savage said.

And after that.

“I just couldn’t go through with it, so I’m pretty sure I’m not getting the job; I just hope I made the right decision,” Savage added.

After hearing such a sad cry story, I called to Mr. Sato and his helper the plebe. After they could confirm about it I offered for myself as a replaced candidate for the Mr. Savage.

One thing I can tell you that this job pay is much more than the brutal times.com. And now I think perhaps I could get a more clear meaning of British English word “shag”.

About Ohashi Jozu

Ohashi Jozu is a seasoned business affairs columnist. His 37 years with Japan's premier financial trade newspaper The Nikkei Weekly earned him kudos from Princess Masako, Seattle Mariners' slugger Ichiro Suzuki, and the widely-respected deceased American writer Norman Mailer, who once called Mr Ohashi " a living embodiment of Japan's samurai spirit - a white-knuckle roller-coaster ride of a human being." Ohashi Jozu has two daughters, Koari, and Sadako. They are attending junior college and hope to become flight attendants.
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10 Responses to Man Sexually Pleasures Goat for Plush Japanese Job

  1. toddsjobmail says:

    i don’t think the story is quite fair. although i have never been to japan, i intend to go there shortly and find myself a girl. in this regard, i think you should be punished.

  2. chad says:

    I didn’t even know they had goats in Japan.

  3. toddsjobmail says:

    i don’t think that’s quite the issue- chad. my point was that it is unconscionable to go about just making things up, and i think that’s what it amounts to here.

  4. chad says:

    you mean the goat part was made up?

  5. toddsjobmail says:

    minako, are you online? i just got off work. i was thinking about you in my car.

  6. admin says:

    todd- the brutal times is NOT a social networking site; if anything we encourage people NOT to talk to one another- in order to avoid BITTER disappointment.Get it?

  7. toddsjobmail says:

    minako? are you there?

  8. admin says:

    todd, i’m coming to your IP address, i will explode in 5 seconds.

  9. helen jee says:

    hi, this is helen jee. i’m a student at mcgill writing my grad thesis on ‘social networking’. i’d be really interested in speaking with todd and minako, offline of course.

  10. steinberg says:

    I can’t believe you’re even discussiong the Japanese! Why, my grandfather was killed driving a Honda for pity’s sake! Is nothing sacred???!

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