By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO- The tiny island nation of Japan has triumphed over nature and China in its announcement Tuesday evening that fastfood and toy giant BB FunCorp has developed the world`s first supersonic 1-ply toliet tissue.
Japan, which occupies one third of Asia, and played host to the 2002 Japan World Cup soccer tourney, has a knack for coming up with innovative life-savers like the 1-ply, says long-time foreign resident Ray Goolens, 46, who is married to a Japanese woman and studies Japanese in Starbucks coffee restaurants.
“Oh yeah, they`ve got a real knack for coming up with innovative life-savers like the 1-ply,” said Goolens.
1-ply toilet paper is popular in Asia, and very very very popular in Japan. The problem with 1-ply, however, say wipers, is that the 1-ply tends to rip and seep during the application process.
“The problem with the 1-ply is that it tends to rip and seep,” said Jessica Bearn, a 22-year-old philosophy student who is visiting Tokyo “just to take a break” from her attendance of the Beijing Olympic Games.
China, it is well-known, has been rushing production of its own ply.
“China does not care, about the Japanese invention,” Peoples’ Republic spokesperson John Denning says. “China has its own ply, which it will unveil when it is ready,” he added.
Despite such poo-pooing by the Chinese, many Tokyoites were chipper when quizzed of their reactions to the new Japanese ply.
“It is fantastic,” said Taro Sakaguchi, 54. “I will ensure my wife lines up at the department store to purchase it.”