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Warm Topic Archives: smia oots
Animals to Get Own Internet by 2010
By Smia Oots, LONDON – As members from the G-20 gathered up their satchels and moved their drinks carefully away from table edges and other popular spill zones British Prime Minister Gordon Brown shock-rocked fans with new that animals will get their own Internet by 2010.
“Animals will get their own Internet by 2010,” he said.
Posted in Disco Island
Tagged 2010, animals, G-20, gadgets, gordon brown, ipod, ipod touch, smia oots, technology, the brutal times, the Internet
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Smiling Linked to Cancer
By Smia Oots, LONDON – Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies confirmed what most people knew already today when they declared a landmark study on all cancers has linked them to smiling.
“Ya, just don’t smile and you’ll be okay,” confirmed Rom Hatzug, 24, a barista turned molecular biologist due to a typo on his temp resume.
He wasn’t smiling when he said it.
Posted in Sick Bay
Tagged bad taste, cancer, cancer risks, fear-mongering, health, know-it-alls, Sick Bay, smia oots, smiles, smiling, the brutal times
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Shocker: You Can See a Girl’s Ass with Low Rider Jeans
By Smia Oots, NEW YORK CITY – Warning: Portions of this article are unfit for those adverse to being shock-rocked. Make sure you’re sitting down before continuing further.
Ready?
Millions of pairs of popular low rider jeans like the type Britney Spears wears are being recalled due to the shocking revelation that the jeans reveal large portions of the wearer’s ass to the viewing public.
Posted in Schadenfreude
Tagged ass crack, britney spears, canada, cock blocker, joaquin phoenix, low rider jeans, mygoodies, schadenfreude, smia oots, the brutal times
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Batman Fires Robin
By Smia Oots, NEW YORK CITY – The tentacles of the global economic crisis, or GECK as it is lovingly known by fans, have finally reached Gotham City itself, and into the Louis Vuitton pocketbook of the Batman himself.
Commissioner Gordon announced through his FaceBook homepage that “Batman has fired Robin,” effective as of 4pm this Tuesday March 10.
Posted in Special Report
Tagged batman, captain america, facebook, fired, global financial crisis, jobless, new york, obama, robin, smia oots, the brutal times, the falcon
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Man Pays Twice For Same Meal
By Smia Oots (with InfoSandwich News Services) SAN FRANCISCO – Reports are everywhere on the Web this morning speculating that a Bay area man has paid twice for the same meal.
The man who is as yet unidentified bears little or some resemblance to reclusive hip hop singing sensation Eminem.
Posted in Featured Brutality, Hollywood Pap
Tagged big dick, eminem, facebook, family budget, food, global economic crisis.depression 2.0, global financial crisis, hip hop, how not to save on meals, ipd touch, ipod touch, meals, philosophy, san francisco, saving, smia oots, the brutal times, young crowd, youtube
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