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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
Germany Arms for WWW III as World Markets Melt
By Styles Cradgerock, BERLIN – Perky German president Angela Merkel met today with concerned citizens groups in response to the recent shockwaves sent through Berlin’s markets stemming from the US financial meltdown. Merkel was firm in her resolve to “stay […]
My Room is a Mess!
By Lucille Hutchinson, INDIANA – Recently I’ve been biting off more than I can chew. I mean, what with my husband Dan so tied up with work and my sister Beth’s invitations to her chorus concerts, I hardly have any […]
Posted in Ordinary People
Tagged cleanliness, glamour, messy rooms, Ordinary People, personal hygiene, success, the brutal times
1 Comment
A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa: Dining Out
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – As you know, hipsters of all shapes and sizes travel all over the world every year lugging their Canadian flag backpacks to and fro. Some of these so-called “backpackers” wind up on the highly-acidified streets of Shimokitazawa, a little ol’ town in Tokyo, I purchased from an ancient Japanese man a few years ago.
Casual Mondays Plan Raises Alarm at Goldman Sachs
By Business Jesus, NEW YORK CITY- With financial markets in turmoil this week after industry giant Lehman Brothers disintegrated and the once most reliable player on the scene, Merrill Lynch, was gobbled up by the Bank of America, traders and […]
McCartney’s Suicide Wings Stun Fans
By DJ Salinger, LONDON- Former Beatle Sir Paul McCartney’s new musical project was unveiled to stunned shoppers strolling the streets of London’s trendy Piccadilly Circus Thursday as the bearded bassist growled and glared his way through a seventeen minute set […]
Ziagra Mania Grips Asia
By Grande Chef Otto, BANGKOK – A recent MyGoodies poll is showing that among high-paid male professionals in the U.S. and the U.K. who suffer from “lapus diversus atopiscus” (commonly known as impotence), a whooping 99.1% are jetting to Bangkok […]
Posted in Grande Chef Otto
Tagged bangkok, Grande Chef Otto, impotence, romance, sex, thailand, the brutal times, viagra, ziagra, ziagra mania grips asia
2 Comments
Man Sexually Pleasures Goat for Plush Japanese Job
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Young American business student Jeremy Savage, 28 says he “dreamed of coming to Japan for years”, lured by promises of easy sex with loose Japanese women, carte blanche (“blank card” in Canadian English) free alcohol, […]
Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Japan, Schadenfreude
Tagged british english, goats, Japan, job interviews, jobs, jobs in japan, mistakes, ohashi jozu, pitfalls, sexual longing, sexual pleasure, sony, the brutal times, tokyo, work in japan
10 Comments
This Heat is Killing Me!
By Todd U. Janeway (Special to the Brutal Times) – Oh God! Oh Gawwwwwwwwwd! This heat is killing me! I mean, don’t get me wrong – I like to think of myself as a “summer person” by nature. I like […]
Posted in Ordinary People
Tagged heatwave, kayaking, new york, Ordinary People, the brutal times, unprofessional conduct
3 Comments