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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
I Wanna Get Plastic Surgery – On my Mind!
By Dr Ray Goolens (Special to The Brutal Times), LOS ANGELES – Do people feel insecure about their looks? Yes they do. A typical remedy for this in the USA may be a short trip to the plastic surgeon. My […]
Posted in Featured Brutality, Sick Bay
Tagged aroma therapy, decision tree, health issues, holiday cheer, inner beauty, los angeles, ray goolens, Sick Bay, the brutal times
1 Comment
Backpacker Gets Warm Reception in Europe
God I hate Italy! It’s so boring and the people are so dumb and rude! The weather is atrocious- it just pisses rain all day long since it isn’t cold enough to snow. But it is cold enough that you have to wear three sweaters underneath your raincoat to keep from freezing to death.
Posted in Backpackers, Highlighted Brutality
Tagged Backpackers, Europe, hot vacations, international funtimes, italy, pizza, roughing it, spaghetti, the brutal times
2 Comments
Fonzi Schemes Surge in ’08
With investors and investettes losing their tops this quarter the shocking revelation of a new slew of Fonzi schemes has shock-rocked this seasonally sleepy city into a frenzy of fist-waving and foul-mouthed frustration.
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
Tagged Business Jesus, christmas, global finacial crisis, ponzi, ponzi scheme, potsie, ray goolens, the brutal times, the fonz, wall street
2 Comments
GM Unveils New Sex Drive Car
By Styles Cradgerock, DETROIT – Just in time for Christmas, GM has unveiled its most fabulous machine yet – the sex-drive car! The sleek family auto known as the GM Phero, is 100% powered on the pheronome, which in case […]
Sorry to Swear, but I Hate My Fucking Computer!
Ooh I hate my fucking computer! I know it’s bad to swear and in the Christmas season because of the Baby Jesus etc but OMG if my computer was a person I’d drag it outside by its pubes and beat it in the street.
George Lucas to Shoot Chinese Democracy Videos
George Lucas is ready to rumble. Locked and loaded with energy after the stunning success of his latest act of self-sabotage Indiana Jones and the Crystal Skull, the gruff-as-ever Lucas confirmed Monday that he is slated to direct the first of seven videos from Guns N’ Roses fresh out the oven Chinese Democracy album.
My Neighbors are Too Noisy
I’ll get right to the point – I’m not usually one to complain, but my upstairs neighbors, Carole and Ken Heyward, are just too noisy.
Posted in Ordinary People
Tagged broker, milk, neighbor disputes, neighbors, noise, noise solutions, Ordinary People, recording, soundproofing, sweater, the brutal times, vengeance, wall street, woods
Comments Off on My Neighbors are Too Noisy
Oprah’s Boobs ‘Too Hot to Handle’
By El Toro, OHIO – As memory of the three most boring presidential debates in history (excepting 1976’s Jimmy Carter vs himself) fade and pool in globs of earthy muck, word has surfaced through leaked campaign memos that both candidates […]