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Warm Topic Archives: Grande Chef Otto
What’s Joaquin Phoenix Eating?
By Connie Roe, Special to the Brutal Times, BUFFALO – Hey Brutal Times, I was wondering. You got that Chef Otto, right? Could you ask him what Joaquin Phoenix is eating these days?
Boy, I think that guy has problems! He’s gotta be eating something downright strange. That would account for his wacky behavior on all those shows.
Erectile Disfunction Wanes as After Dinner Conversation Topic
By Grande Chef Otto, MARTHA’S VINEYARD – A poll in the popularity of after dinner conversation topics around the world was released today by prestigious Carribbean think tank MyGoodies. The poll which covers the years 2007-2008 contains a number of shockers.
A Brutal Guide to Shimokitazawa: Dining Out
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO – As you know, hipsters of all shapes and sizes travel all over the world every year lugging their Canadian flag backpacks to and fro. Some of these so-called “backpackers” wind up on the highly-acidified streets of Shimokitazawa, a little ol’ town in Tokyo, I purchased from an ancient Japanese man a few years ago.
Ziagra Mania Grips Asia
By Grande Chef Otto, BANGKOK – A recent MyGoodies poll is showing that among high-paid male professionals in the U.S. and the U.K. who suffer from “lapus diversus atopiscus” (commonly known as impotence), a whooping 99.1% are jetting to Bangkok […]
Posted in Grande Chef Otto
Tagged bangkok, Grande Chef Otto, impotence, romance, sex, thailand, the brutal times, viagra, ziagra, ziagra mania grips asia
2 Comments
2 McDonald’s Cheeseburgers Are Cheaper Than 1 Double Cheeseburger
By Grande Chef Otto, TOKYO- As world food prices soar and balloon out of control prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies is reporting that on site inspections conclusively indicate that 2 McDonald’s cheeseburgers are cheaper than one double cheeseburger. “We found […]
Ancient Mayan Food Pyramid Unearthed
By Grande Chef Otto MEXICO (Tijuana) – Brutal April showers the last few weeks have kept Stateside tourists from making their annual after spring break pilgrimages to this holy city adding to the woes of local street musicians and artisans who survive by selling their creations to visiting US thrillseekers.
But early reports this morning suggest that Tijuana’s stormclouds may yet possess a silver lining.
Posted in Featured Brutality, Grande Chef Otto
Tagged ancient mayan food pyramid unearthed, dec 21 2012, Grande Chef Otto, is 2012 the end of the world?, mayan calendar, mayan doomsday, mayans, mexico, my goodies, nutrition, philosophy, pyramids, silver lining, the brutal times, tijuana, will the world end in 2012?
6 Comments
Canada`s Giraffe Hunt Begins
By Grande Chef Otto, VANCOUVER – VANCOUVER – With the arrival of the first bitter winter wind to this popular international tourist hotspot came also the first blasts and echoes of burpguns and mortars. No, Vancouver has not suddenly been […]
Posted in Canaduh, Grande Chef Otto, Highlighted Brutality
Tagged canada, canada's giraffe hunt begins, digg, giraffe hunt, Grande Chef Otto, Iraq, jeans, the brutal times
19 Comments
Subway Cushion Soups a Smash in San Francisco
By Grande Chef Otto, SAN FRANCISCO – The sound of the City of Love’s treasured trolleys may be magic to the ears of the millions of mutton-chopped foreign visitors this sleepy California coastal villa receives each year, but lately locals […]
Posted in Grande Chef Otto
Tagged culinary arts, delicious meals, Grande Chef Otto, muni, san francisco, subway cushions, the brutal times
1 Comment