By Grande Chef Otto, SAN FRANCISCO – The sound of the City of Love’s treasured trolleys may be magic to the ears of the millions of mutton-chopped foreign visitors this sleepy California coastal villa receives each year, but lately locals are falling under a brand new San Franciscan spell – that of the delicious tasting soups made from the city’s leftover subway cushions.
“I love soup,” doe-eyed 23-year-old philosophy major Winona Thadle cooed Wednesday, as she and a gaggle of other San Franciscans stood in line in front of a temporarily erected MUNI subway soup stand in the trendy Union Square district.
MUNI, San Francisco`s beloved public transportation utility, recently began a plan to recycle ancient BART subway cushions by squeezing out dormant liquid remnants and turning the remnants into mouth-watering soups. Demand for the soups has been high.
Because the dormant liquids residing in one ancient seat cushion are different from those found in another, each subway cushion soup produced is unique. Likely due to this fact, the results of San Francisco councilman Hugo Deitrich`s Subway Soup Programme have stunned environmentalists and foodies alike from around the globe.
Indeed, found in the very same cue waiting for new soups to be dispensed as leggy San Franciscan resident Ms. Thadle, was Oscar Knash, who had come all the way from his remote mountain home in the ice-covered island country of Greenland.
“I was preparing for the End,” said Mr Knash, 44. “I had given up- sold my things, and was waiting for the big flash of light that would accompany the planet’s much-deserved destruction – when I got an email from a friend about these soups.”
He chartered a plane and flew to Frisco.
Soups are selling for $1.99 for a 250ml bowl. They must be purchased in person and cannot as yet be reserved through the MUNI website. Because BART subway cushions are in limited supply consumers are limited to the purchase of two soups per week. Consumers must consume the soups in front of a certified MUNI Soup Inspector. Persons found to have smuggled soups or purchased soups for unauthorized use will be subject to questioning, incarceration and strip search.