Why Won`t My Friend Text Me Back?

Dear Daemon,

I keep texting my fiend Marcie and she wont text me back! is there something i can do to make her text me back?!? I need her to respond to my messages because otherwise how am i supposed to make plans for this weekend?


Dear Kaylie,

You may have made an error in entering your friend`s email address.


No, i didnt do that. I’m not an idiot! Why didn`t you answer my question?


Dear Kaylie,

It is not necessary for you to write “Kaylie” at the end of your post every time you write. I never said you were an idiot. I receive many questions each day. I searched for the answer to your question but I couldn`t find it, so I gave up.



You can`t even remember the question, can you? “I searched for the answer…and then I gave up”? Why would you even bother replying to me if your just gonna send such a crappy reply?!?


Dear Kylie,

I searched for the answer to you question but I couldn`t find it so I gave up. Sorry.


Daemon –

You are fucking anoyyyyyinnng!!!!

Dear Kylie,

I`m going to make myself a liverwurst sandwich, and then I`m going to go to bed. I suggest you do the same. I`ll try again tomorrow.


About Daemon Mailer

Sweet little Daemon Mailer invented the internet in his garage while he was trying unsuccessfully to invent the first rental video store. Like the rest, Daeme is also making moves to cash in on BT's success and avoid eating peanut butter out of a jar livin' in his car the rest of his life. All during the night as he wiggles to an 'fro, some kinda machine records his thoughts, churning out a pile o crud to be compiled in the forthcoming tome, “I am Spam.”
This entry was posted in Ask Daemon Mailer and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to Why Won`t My Friend Text Me Back?

  1. mr. impossible says:


    Daemon is probably depressed about the death of his brother, Norman. You should cut him some slack.