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Warm Topic Archives: daemon mailer
Reality is Worse than TV
By Daemon Mailer, NEW YORK CITY – Millions of Americans are apologizing this morning to their long-suffering tv sets as a landmark report issued in the wee hours is confirming what everybody already knew:
Reality is worse than tv.
I Forgot my Password!
Posted in Ask Daemon Mailer, Featured Brutality
Tagged Ask Daemon Mailer, daemon mailer, mailer daemon, password, the brutal times, yahoo
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State Of The Union Spoiler: Iraq War ‘Ironic’ Bush Says
By the serge, WASHINGTON (The Brutal Times) – In advance copies of tonight’s State of the Union address obtained by The Brutal Times, President George W Bush reveals his 2003 plan to invade Iraq was “ironic,” and insists that he […]
Daemon Mailer Tazed At Canadian Airport
By El Toro, TORONTO – Flamboyant Internet pioneer Daemon Mailer was rushed to Toronto’s Grace Hospital early this morning after being repeatedly tazed in front of shocked onlookers at Pearson International Airport. Mailer, who witnesses said appeared “between 30 and […]
Posted in Canaduh, Latest Brutality
Tagged bbfuncorp, canadian airport, cockblocker, daemon mailer, el toro, styles cradgerock, tazer, the bridle path, the brutal times
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My Son Is Spending Too Much Time In His Room
Dear Damien, I am a stay at home mom. My son Mango spends alot of time using your invention the internet. That’s all fine & dandy and I am glad you made it because you are an American like myself. […]
Posted in Ask Daemon Mailer
Tagged advice, america, daemon mailer, detroit, michigan, stay at home moms, the brutal times
3 Comments
Why Won`t My Friend Text Me Back?
Dear Daemon, I keep texting my fiend Marcie and she wont text me back! is there something i can do to make her text me back?!? I need her to respond to my messages because otherwise how am i supposed […]
Posted in Ask Daemon Mailer
Tagged advice, daemon mailer, email, teen angst, the brutal times, why won't my friend text me back?
1 Comment