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Warm Topic Archives: daemon mailer
By Daemon Mailer, NEW YORK CITY – Millions of Americans are apologizing this morning to their long-suffering tv sets as a landmark report issued in the wee hours is confirming what everybody already knew:
Reality is worse than tv.
By Daemon Mailer, SAN FRANCISCO – San Francisco, home of the Whopper, pizza, the iPod Touch and the Internet. Its citizens are full of themselves.
Ask them for directions and receive the snub of a lifetime.
“We’re the greatest,” says Pauline Faine, 10, a barista in the trendy Haight-Ashbury stoner district.
But now something else San Francisco invented is killing the Internet: Libraries.
By Ghazala Khan (Special to The Brutal Times) TOKYO –
The following interview was conducted by Ghazala Khan of The Pakistani Spectator. It recalls a friendlier, more innocent time when staff members of The Brutal Times could casually gather around the fried chicken dispensor in the BT offices at Shimokitazawa Hills. A time when birds chirped, but not too loudly. Before the layoffs and the name-calling. Two weeks ago.
By the serge, WASHINGTON (The Brutal Times) – In advance copies of tonight’s State of the Union address obtained by The Brutal Times, President George W Bush reveals his 2003 plan to invade Iraq was “ironic,” and insists that he […]
By El Toro, TORONTO – Flamboyant Internet pioneer Daemon Mailer was rushed to Toronto’s Grace Hospital early this morning after being repeatedly tazed in front of shocked onlookers at Pearson International Airport. Mailer, who witnesses said appeared “between 30 and […]
Dear Damien, I am a stay at home mom. My son Mango spends alot of time using your invention the internet. That’s all fine & dandy and I am glad you made it because you are an American like myself. […]
Dear Daemon, I keep texting my fiend Marcie and she wont text me back! is there something i can do to make her text me back?!? I need her to respond to my messages because otherwise how am i supposed […]