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Warm Topic Archives: barack obama
Obama’s Icy Stare a Hit with Kids, Seniors
March 25, 2009
By Barry Hussein, WASHINGTON – Members of the Washington press are beside themselves with the new knowledge that America’s first black president Obama is easy to tease.
On Monday when a reporter asked the president about Rags, the top secret pooch who was flown into the White House under the cover of night and so onMr Obama, 47, fixed the reporter, InfoSandwich’s Gary Lobster, with an icy stare.
“As you know, Rags is of topic,” he said.
The icy stare has become a hit with kids and seniors.
Posted in Presidential Daily Brief
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Tagged american history, barack obama, barry hussein, icy stare, infosandwich, jazz man, kids, obama's dog, obama's icy stare, pets, Presidential Daily Brief, rags, reagan, seniors, the brutal times
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Japan Gives Iran 9 Volcanoes
March 20, 2009
By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Just as Barack Obama America’s first black president has offered Iran “a new day” via his personal VHS videotape message to Iran’s president Saddam Hussein, Japan, the world’s second superpower is giving Iran nine volcanoes on Tuesday.
“Japan, one of our most ah steadfast uh allies – in the fight to ah, to really get things turned around over there ah in Iran, has ah to the best of our knowledge, ah promised to deliver those volcanoes before breakfast to ah Mr Hussein,” Mr Obama commented via his Blackberry text machine.
Posted in Iraq, Japan
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Tagged barack obama, black berry, iran, iran-us relations, Japan, ohashi jozu, Presidential Daily Brief, saddam hussein, the brutal times, vhs, volcano, volcanoes
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1 Comment
Dad Says Chinese Ship Violated International Law
March 10, 2009
By Barry Hussein, MACAO – The Internet Machine was abuzz this morning with news that a dad, Roland Hawthe, 22, a barista native to Long Island says that a Chinese ship violated international law.
China has accused the USA of violating international law for sailing sailing away why don’t you take me sailing away i don’t know where I’m goin’ to in Chinese waters.
Posted in Presidential Daily Brief
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Tagged barack obama, barry hussein, chines ship, chinese, chinese ship, cnn, crawford, dad, dads, international law, iphone, macao, mulder, sailing, scully, twitter, violation, white house, x-files
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1979 Commission Rules ‘Punk’s not Dead’
February 25, 2009
By DJ Salinger, WASHINGTON – Music fans around the globe are rejoicing in news that one of rock’s most treasured genres – that of “punk rock” has been officially declared “very much alive” by a bi-partisan Congressional Commission which had been studying the issue on weekends since 1983.
Obama: “Our Balls Are To The Wall”
January 21, 2009
By The Serge, WASHINGTON – An estimated two million people braved freezing temps to hear 44th president of the United States Barack Obama be sworn into office in this snow-covered city yesterday. And most of ’em stuck around for a little while after to hear him deliver his first speech as America’s new commander-in-chief.
“These are trying times,” Obama began as onlookers shouted and hollered in agreement. “Our balls are to the wall,” he went on.
Posted in Latest Brutality
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Tagged america, balls, barack obama, dr ray goolens, ghostwriting, iphone, joe biden, matt drudge, obama inauguration, plagiarism, Presidential Daily Brief, snowsuit, sweat, the brutal times, the serge, washington, yin yang twins
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2 Comments
Obama Inauguration Spoiler: ‘I’m Celibate’
January 15, 2009
By The Serge, WASHINGTON – President-elect Barack Obama is poised to reveal a new direction for America just days from now.
Among the prominent speaking points in Mr Obama’s inauguration speech will be his official announcement of his celibacy,The Brutal Times has learned.
Posted in Highlighted Brutality
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Tagged Add new tag, american idol, barack obama, cats, celibacy, dogs, inauguration speech, obama, spoilers, the brutal times, the serge, washington
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Few Want to Touch Obama’s Bulging Stimulus Package
January 8, 2009
By Styles Cradgerock, WASHINGTON – Despite his good looks and boyish smile, despite his taste in music (Springsteen) and way with words (“Yes we can”) it appears that fewer and fewer Americans want to touch his bulging stimulus package.
Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief
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Tagged barack obama, beer, few want to touch obama's bulging stimulus package, global economic crisis, halo, japanese mosaic, john mccain, Presidential Daily Brief, ray goolens, springsteen, styles cradgerock, the brutal times, U.S.financial crisis, USA, yes we can
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5 Comments
Dark Knight Angered By Presidential ‘Snub’
By El Toro, NEW YORK CITY – As six former US presidents sat down for a delicious lunch with President George W Bush and president-elect Barack Obama every face at the table beamed with bi-partisan glee.
Posted in Highlighted Brutality, Hollywood Pap, Presidential Daily Brief
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Tagged barack obama, batman, el toro, gotham city, iphone, lunch with obama bush and other presidents, new york, Presidential Daily Brief, snub, ssh...kebab, the brutal times, the dark night, us politics, washington, wasted, youtube
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1 Comment
Chinese Democracy Bail-out to Cost $986 Billion
January 3, 2009
As details of the Democrats’ 1 trillion dollar budget request continue to leak out the president-elect has been mulling the final touches of what amounts to the priciest financial bail-out plan made in US political history.
Obama Asks Bush to Stay on as President
December 26, 2008
By El Toro, HONOLULU – Call it a case of daring spontaneity brought on by the soothing sand and sun and sea of a sensational luxury post-election breather. Several stalwart Barack Obama supporters were mildly amused by reports coming out of Honolulu this morning that Mr Obama had met privately at his tasteful beach villa with President Bush and several of his friends.