Warm Topic Archives: pets

Life Metal Gives Hope to Seniors, Pets

By DJ Salinger DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Despite all the bad-mouthing, and the crushing of neighbors’ fingers in doorjambs at 2am, and the laughing and pointing, despite the cynicism and the ism, a new hope hath arriveded, just in time for Halloween.

Life metal.

Posted in Thinking Man's Rock | Tagged , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

Obama’s Icy Stare a Hit with Kids, Seniors

By Barry Hussein, WASHINGTON – Members of the Washington press are beside themselves with the new knowledge that America’s first black president Obama is easy to tease.

On Monday when a reporter asked the president about Rags, the top secret pooch who was flown into the White House under the cover of night and so onMr Obama, 47, fixed the reporter, InfoSandwich’s Gary Lobster, with an icy stare.

“As you know, Rags is of topic,” he said.

The icy stare has become a hit with kids and seniors.

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Healthy Pets Live Longer

By Smia Oots, BOSTON – Pet lovers are petting themselves on the back and in some other areas, congratulating themselves on the confirmation of what they’ve known for decades: healthy pets live longer.

Posted in Special Report | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment