Warm Topic Archives: Ordinary People

My Face is Lacking in Primary Oils

By Brenda Vitnower, Special to The Brutal Times – My face is lacking in primary oils. But it’s so oily due to my unbalanced diet and upbringing.

Let me explain.

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Nice Guy Turns Out to Be a Dick

Special to The Brutal Times, By Tammy Glynne, TAMPA – Finally, after years of searching, I thought I’d met the perfect mate – Brad Jackson, 25, great body, hair on his head a big fat bank account.

Heck, he even threw the occasional compliment my way.

“Babe, you’ve got great tits,” he said one day by the pool.

I thought he was such a nice guy.

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I Left my Iron On

By Louise, Special to The Brutal Times, WYOMING – I left my iron on. I left it plugged in after ironing my husband Ray’s shirts and pants last night. Now I’m worried it’s caught on fire and that the flames have spread to the curtains.

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I Love Slurping Fondue from my Crock Pot

Special to The Brutal Times, By Bradley Meyer – I was hating every single moment of my life until I found my fondue crock pot on the street in front of my neighbor’s house.

That crock pot, once cleaned off and packed with thick translucent fondue goo has knocked me on my keister and wrapped its dripping hot salty tentacles around my mind.

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Coping with Change

By Liz Traileboum, Special to The Brutal Times – I’m a stay at home mom, trying to balance five jobs, one hundred and sixteen kids and seven thousand jobs I do from the comfort of my own kitchen. I guess you could say I’m stuck juggling about eleven million different routines.

Boy, some days I get so pooped!

Yeah, and then the anger comes. From coping with change.

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Books are so Boring

Special to the Brutal Times, By Tamara – Books are so boring. Don’t get me wrong – I love books. I grew up around books all my life.

But every time I look at a book it just puts me to sleep.

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What’s Joaquin Phoenix Eating?

By Connie Roe, Special to the Brutal Times, BUFFALO – Hey Brutal Times, I was wondering. You got that Chef Otto, right? Could you ask him what Joaquin Phoenix is eating these days?

Boy, I think that guy has problems! He’s gotta be eating something downright strange. That would account for his wacky behavior on all those shows.

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My Favorite Show’s Not On

By Lorraine Le Blanc, Special to The Brutal Times – When I come home from work I fix myself and my husband Marcus a delicious meal from online recipes I download straight into my range.

It’s a hell of a job and by the time I’m done I’m drenched in rank sweat and there’s sauce pretty much everywhere, even up my nose once in January with that chicken ala king.

But what’s really my saving grace is after, sitting down to enjoy American Idol.

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I Need my Coffee

By Deborah Haines, Special to The Brutal Times, BALTIMORE – I need my coffee. It’s so hard to focus on all the data that I have to punch into PC at the office (I’m a data entry professional). The first thing I do when I get into the office at 8:13am every morning is uncork my jumbo Starbucks tumbler (I call him Iron Man) and pour myself out a healthy dollop of swirling burbly black teeth rot.

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My New Year Resolution: I Want Oprah’s Boobs

By Yana, (Special to The Brutal Times) SANTA MONICA – I don’t know about you, but in my social circle all the huffing and puffing around Oprah Winfrey’s boobs has consumed most of my winter holiday. People just could not – I mean could not leave Oprah’s boobs alone.

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