By DJ Salinger DEMOCRATIC PEOPLES’ REPUBLIC OF IKEA – Despite all the bad-mouthing, and the crushing of neighbors’ fingers in doorjambs at 2am, and the laughing and pointing, despite the cynicism and the ism, a new hope hath arriveded, just in time for Halloween.
Life metal.
By DJ Salinger, TAMPA – Troubling signs that the band formerly known as Guns N’ Roses (the group officially changed their name to N’ earlier this year) mistakenly began the worldwide tour for their semen release album “Chinese Democracy” minus lead singer Axl Rose continue to pop up online.
By DJ Salinger, BAFFIN ISLAND – With windchill temperatures here at already -89C and folks on this sparsely-decorated backward island nation clutching their nether regions with a rabid ferocity just to keep alive, the basic human desire for good news is at an all-time high.
They’re gonna have to wait.
By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – Finally, after sweating through the long wait of three months since the last Beatles album was released we can get our rocks off with the just-released 150 album box set which contains all of the lads’ 18,0981 songs (minus the baggage of all those John Lennon and George Harrison tracks which dogged down much of the earlier compilation best boxes).
“Yeah, we finally figured out what was missing with the earlier 569808 best of Beatles releases,” said long-time Beatles producer and confidante George Martin, from his villa in sunny Las Vegas, Sunday, “those fucking Harrison and Lennon songs,”
By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – I met Ringo in a bar. He told me why The Beatles broke up:
“I was bored, basically.”
By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Despite the general lack of interest, spell-binding stories keep surfacing regarding sensational superstar pop music producer Phil Spector, now imprisoned for murder inside the seaside Sing Sing prison.
Tuesday, a local L.A. lad appeared to have discovered a bottomless tomb under Spector’s mammoth residence/studio.
“I crawled under there looking for my baseball and I think I found a tomb full of unknown session musicians,” the boy, Darryl RJ Dennison, 37, said.
By DJ Salinger, VERMONT – 517,9876 fans gathered here on the eroding muddy banks of what was once merely a disenchanted unmarried farmer’s spinach farm to hear acts as diverse as Mozart Jr., to Venom and Neil Young (from Canada).
The 167th annual KISSS-FM New Horizons Festa, sponsored by homegrown ristorante Ssh…Kebab, featured special additions to this year’s programme that shocked some.
Neil Young performed nude.
By DJ Salinger, LOS ANGELES – Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, The Notorious B.I.G., Cindi Lauper – all were stars trying to make it in the City of Angels who died trying before they ever got an honest break.
And now added to the list, former Jackson 5 frontman, singing sensation Michael Jackson.
By DJ Salinger, BEIJING – Early reports coming out of this world-class Olympic city are confirming what the rest of the world has believed to be true for well over a year – that James Brown has died.
By DJ Salinger, LONDON – Brits cheered news this morning that the holy grail of Radiohead fans – a lost Thom Yorke stand up comedy triple album, had been found under a box of Kleenex in a Los Angeles record producer’s gated estate.