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Latest Brutality

Think about it. Stuff that happened or people say happened that, uh, happened or was made up, er, lately?

Poll: Cool People ‘Don’t Feel Cool Enough’

December 2, 2008 by admin

Forget the global financial crisis. A new shocking wave of global concern is shock-rocking shoppers and commuters and threatening to add more lumps to everybody’s gravy, even those who chose not to order it. The cause for concern? Prestigious Caribbean think tank MyGoodies announced yesterday at Denny’s that according to in-depth research most cool people “don’t feel cool enough”.

Japan Buys Popular US Holidays as Dollar Dips

November 17, 2008 by admin

By Ohashi Jozu, with Business Jesus, TOKYO – The world’s second largest economy may well be entering an exciting recession, as mentioned by CNN and other news junkies, but perhaps due to the simultaneous rise in the value of the yen the message on the floor of the Nikkei stock exchange is still buy buy buy!

Oprah’s Boobs ‘Too Hot to Handle’

October 20, 2008 by admin

By El Toro, OHIO – As memory of the three most boring presidential debates in history (excepting 1976’s Jimmy Carter vs himself) fade and pool in globs of earthy muck, word has surfaced through leaked campaign memos that both candidates […]

Palin Babygate Entangles Edwards

September 2, 2008 by Barry Husein

(By Barry Hussein) ST PAUL, MINNESOTA – With only days and minutes remaining in the super-charged 2008 presidential race newly-cemented Republican vice-presidential pick Governor Sarah Palin is turning heads and pricking up ears with her peppy plunk and can-do attitude.

Identity Theft Ruffles Feathers

August 23, 2008 by Rabeezio Rabeezio

By Rabeezio Rabeezio, TORONTO – In recent months the Feds have been turning up the heat on Identity Fraudsters, but many people claim it’s too little too late. I’ve always been pretty easy to identify in a crowd, what with […]

One Man’s Opinion: Opera Sucks

February 9, 2008 by Marshall Stack

By Marshall Stack (TORONTO)- Musicologist Matt Von Vertmoor is a man driven. Each morning at exactly five a.m. he leaves his tiny downtown apartment and travels by subway to the Canadian Opera Company’s Performance Venue on Queen St. West. After […]

Daemon Mailer Tazed At Canadian Airport

January 5, 2008 by El Toro

By El Toro, TORONTO – Flamboyant Internet pioneer Daemon Mailer was rushed to Toronto’s Grace Hospital early this morning after being repeatedly tazed in front of shocked onlookers at Pearson International Airport. Mailer, who witnesses said appeared “between 30 and […]