Warm Topic Archives: el toro

Oprah’s Boobs ‘Too Hot to Handle’

October 20, 2008

By El Toro, OHIO – As memory of the three most boring presidential debates in history (excepting 1976’s Jimmy Carter vs himself) fade and pool in globs of earthy muck, word has surfaced through leaked campaign memos that both candidates […]

Posted in Latest Brutality, Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

U.S. Presidential Debate Spoilers

September 23, 2008

By El Toro, USA AMERICA – Mr Obama, who is running to be the first black US president, will wear a blue tie. Mr McCain, who is running to be the oldest white US president, will wear a red tie. […]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Daemon Mailer Tazed At Canadian Airport

January 5, 2008

By El Toro, TORONTO – Flamboyant Internet pioneer Daemon Mailer was rushed to Toronto’s Grace Hospital early this morning after being repeatedly tazed in front of shocked onlookers at Pearson International Airport. Mailer, who witnesses said appeared “between 30 and […]

Posted in Canaduh, Latest Brutality | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 11 Comments

Teachers Buried Alive Inside Japanese English School

November 18, 2007

By Ohashi Jozu,TOKYO – Eileen Fuchenzie couldn’t wait to come to Japan. The 22 year-old Canadian philosophy major at York University spent months packing and re-packing die-hard Canadian staples like Kraft Dinner macaroni and cheese, ampules of maple syrup, and […]

Posted in Featured Brutality, Japan | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments