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Highlighted Brutality

These are stories on The Brutal Times that our unpaid intern, uh, unpaid staff, highlighted with a green felt highlighter to get our attention? At first she highlighted just the headlines of some stories…then the stories…now all the stories. Yes, those green highlighters are wickedly liberating.

Man Sexually Pleasures Goat for Plush Japanese Job

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – Young American business student Jeremy Savage, 28 says he “dreamed of coming to Japan for years”, lured by promises of easy sex with loose Japanese women, carte blanche (“blank card” in Canadian English) free alcohol, […]

Sarah Palin Threw My Hockey Puck in the Lake!

Alaska – Little is known about Sen. John McCain’s newly announced running mate Sarah Palin. But you can count on The Brutal Times to bring you the stories no one else can. We’ve unconvered what could be a bombshell once Obama’s people get thier hands on it.

Obama Announces Running Mate: It’s Michelle!!

WASHINGTON – We’ve just received word, ahead of the Twitter update the world is waiting for, from a source close to the presidential hopeful that Obama has decided to break with tradition and choose his wife, Michelle Obama, as his official running mate.

DIY Organ Transplants – Easier Than You Thought

By Brutal Times Health Watch Doctor Wayne McGillicutty, SMILES – You may have foolishly thought that major operations like transplants were best left to surgeons in hospitals, but one Toronto area man is seeking to change all that. “The myth […]

Canada`s Giraffe Hunt Begins

By Grande Chef Otto, VANCOUVER – VANCOUVER – With the arrival of the first bitter winter wind to this popular international tourist hotspot came also the first blasts and echoes of burpguns and mortars. No, Vancouver has not suddenly been […]

Thom Yorke Addicted To Bananas

LONDON, England (The Brutal Times)- A man named Thom Yorke who locals say sings songs for the punk rock group “Radio Heads” is reported to be addicted to bananas. The shocking new news was broken by the band’s long-time best […]