The Brutal Times Best of 2009

By Santa, Tokyo, SHIMOKITAZAWA – Well, Boys & Girls, it’s that most wonderful time of the year once agin when they let Santa write an article here at BT.

(Correction – this is Santa’s first article for BT, since being hired well over a year ago – Ed.)

And so without further ado it is my pleasure to to sum up the very Best of the “00’s”, the “Naughties” and some such other delightful witticisms that town criers have summed up this most delightful of decades.

(Correction – this article does not cover an entire decade; it is merely intended to “sum up” 2009.)

I for one, am surprised we done survived the milenium.

(Correction – “millennium”.)

That y2k thing really had me for a loop.

(Correction – “Y2K”.)

The thing I remember most about y2k was wondering how I’m gonna be affected as I don’t even own a computer.

(Again, not relevant – Ed.)

I’m still quite comfy livin’ with my black & white tv.

(Jesus – Ed.)

Well, without further ado, here she goes- wave bye bye to 2009:

Best movie:

Wall Street

Best actor: Charlie Sheen

Best show on tv: The Simpsons

Best album: “Appetite for Destruction” – Guns N’ Roses

Best new foreign artist: Kylie Minogue

Best R&B artist: Michael Jackson

Best new country: Iran

Hot topic: stock market crash

Notable births: Hillary Duff, artist

Notable Deaths: Liberace, artist

Man of the Year: Ronald Reagan

I’m Santa!

(Jesus – Ed.)

About Santa

Giving to the rich and robbing the poor, once you really get to know him, Santa's more disappointing than the most grotesque sidewalk artist's portrait. Yes, we at BT were excited to bag him at first, what, back in...2009? But since then, boy, has the regret set in. Santa's limited creativity means he's liable to churn out maybe one article per year, and even then...well...just take a look see at whut he's written.
This entry was posted in Santa and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to The Brutal Times Best of 2009

  1. carlotta nicole says:

    no wonder i don’t believe in you!

Don't Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *