Author Archives: Santa

About Santa

Giving to the rich and robbing the poor, once you really get to know him, Santa's more disappointing than the most grotesque sidewalk artist's portrait. Yes, we at BT were excited to bag him at first, what, back in...2009? But since then, boy, has the regret set in. Santa's limited creativity means he's liable to churn out maybe one article per year, and even then...well...just take a look see at whut he's written.

Nobel Peace Prize Spoiler: And the Winner is…Roland Emmerich!

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By Santa, THE HAGUE – Rudolf told me the other day who’s gonna get the Nobel Peace Prize this year in 2010. Both Donner and Blitzen had pestered Rudolf about this for weeks but he refused them and came to me, Santa, properly maintaining protocol.

Oh,you already know who the winner’s gonna be because the editor of the Brutal Times spoiled it by putting it in the headline?

Posted in Latest Brutality

The Brutal Times Best of 2009

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By Santa, Tokyo, SHIMOKITAZAWA – Well, Boys & Girls, it’s that most wonderful time of the year once again when they let Santa write an article here at BT.

(Correction – this is Santa’s first article for BT, since being hired well over ayear ago – Ed.)

Posted in Santa