Warm Topic Archives: jimmy page

Satan to become CNN’s New Gadget Specialist

By Daemon Mailer, KEY WEST – In a classic double-cross, Satan will succeed former Black Flag vocalist Henry Rollins as CNN’s go-to gadget guy. After selling his soul to get the plush CNN jobbie, former Rollins fans Twittered Satan “so many times it really ruffled my feathers,” according to the Big Red One himself.

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Led Zeppelin Form Led Zeppelin Cover Band

By DJ Salinger, LAS VEGAS – In a shockingly awesome turn of events, after months (years?) of extended refusal on the part of Led Zeppelin singer Robert Plant to rejoin the band, remaining Zeppelin members Jimmy Page and John Paul Jones finally figured out a way to sort of change his mind.

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Top Record Stores Offer ‘Five Finger Discount’ Fridays

By DJ Salinger, TOKYO – In a preemptive shot across the bow of music piracy kingpins and iPod inventors Bill and Melinda Gates, top record stores HMV and Tower Records announced they plan to appeal to the dark side of […]

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Led Zepplin Offer Amnesty To Fans Who Can’t Spell

By DJ Salinger ENGLAND (London) – Despite the undeniably joyous atmosphere that reigned here at London’s prestigious 02 arena as rock giants Led Zeppelin prepared to take the stage for a long-awaited business reunion Monday, one burning question hung over […]

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