New Radiohead Album ‘Too Soon, Too Soon’ Say Fans

Radiohead-In RainbowsBy DJ Salinger, ENGLAND (London) – For those select few lucky enough to be gathered at 19 Breithoss Crossing Place the event held this Sunday evening was one approaching a religious experience. Popular British Deepresso artists Radiohead slipped quietly past the mass media radar, and ingeniously, by holding their secret first listening party one month after the album’s official mainstream release, once again had many music industry veterans feeling baffled and a trifle out of touch.

But many fans who attended the party are now reporting strong after-effects, ranging from “lethargy” to “mild and severe forms of depression,” according to pop psychologist Dr Ray Goolens, who met with listeners and their families after the event.

“It’s too soon, too soon,” said Radiohead fan Nigel Woods, 30, as he slumped to the floor. “I was just getting over ‘Hail to the Thief’ (Radiohead’s last album), and now this,” he moaned.

The intensely popular group has waited almost four years since releasing ‘Hail’, which critics compared to legendary Deepresso artists Pink Floyd and Sarah McLaughlin.

“We thought they could handle it,” said the group’s lead vocalist Thom Yorke, speaking of fans’ adverse reaction to the new recording. “Perhaps we were wrong.”

Getting tickets resembled something out of the film “Charlie and the Chocolate Factory”, as they could not be bought at any price, and fans found their way to tickets in an almost mystical manner.

Jeremy Caymartin, 30, an urban planner, found his ticket stapled to the pants leg of a suit he had sent to his local dry cleaner’s to be pressed.

Clara Stellton, a 20 year-old philosophy student from Leeds, found a mysterious packet containing a ticket under her pillow, apparently a birthday gift from her partner Lionel, 47, though he has yet to confess how he got hold of one of the much in demand passes to the exclusive “In Rainbows” listening party.

To the surprise of most of the less than 100 premier listeners in attendance at the famous London address, once home of British author JRR Tolkien, the bizarre accidental ticketing system seemed to work, in that few if any record company execs made it in past the gate. The listening party went off as billed on the tickets themselves, as “A private fans-only first-listen to Radiohead’s long-awaited new album”.

The lights went down. As per official band request the needle struck the vinyl groove of the LP copy spinning on the gramophone. An audience of anxious ears pricked up. And then –

“It was horrible,” Sara Thompson, 32, of Cambridge said, still holding her head from the impact of the record album. “I’m just…so….bummed,” she added.

“It’s…just…too soon, I think,” offered Grafton Blanach, 28, who had come all the way from Toronto, Canada, to hear the recording. “I’m kicking myself, actually – I should have known, after listening to ‘Kid A’. And ‘Hail To The Thief’. It took me four years to get over ‘Thief’. Now I’m totally bummed – all over again.”

Alarmed BB FunCorp spokespeople offered free massages and glowsticks to shaken fans attending the party in an attempt to lift spirits.

Although BB Fun Corp does not directly take part in Radiohead’s management or label dealings, the Japanese toy giant has acquired the rights to most of the dark vocabulary used in the band’s songs.

FunCorp spokesman Watanabe Jiro said he thought the album was “very good, very nice.” But few other listeners seemed upbeat about the experience.

“Wow,” said Karel Goodyear, 26, of Birmingham. “I was thinking all of those things that Thom (Yorke, Radiohead’s vocalist) was singing, writing and writing them on my blog. Again. Just like on all the other albums. And I was thinking, like, maybe this time I could write them in a book myself…I don’t know. But since he’s gone and done it, again, I…oh, I don’t know.”

Despite the general black mood, many gave Yorke kudos for his uncanny ability for bringing the bringdown.

“This is serious music,” said Dale Ash, 28, a systems engineer from Brighton. “It requires a serious long-term comittment on the part of fans. If they (the complaining fans) can’t deal with it, perhaps they should stick to Shania Twain,” he suggested.

About DJ Salinger

Better than nothing, DJ Salinger shakes it where the sun don't shine. BT' s resident recluse on the loose, Salinger is the trouble with this generation, begging the question, What is the sound of one fist bumping?
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13 Responses to New Radiohead Album ‘Too Soon, Too Soon’ Say Fans

  1. erin fetterly says:

    it’s called “introspection”? i think there’s a lot you left out of your report. Radiohead rules!

  2. minako says:

    erin are you girl? i want to make american friend! actually do you know gay guy? im wanting to make a friend with gay guy soooo much! anyway bye for now!

  3. admin says:

    minako – this is not a social networking site; you can’t just try and randomly pick up other people who are commenting on these important issues. please try and contribute something intelligent to the debate. thanks.

  4. hirosawa etsuko says:

    minako san your comment is very stupid. you had better to get a transcript of this program in order to prepare for the university admissions test.

  5. Pingback: New Radiohead Album ‘Too Soon, Too Soon’ Say Fans

  6. minako says:

    erin why you not writemeback?!? are you hate me?!?

  7. librariman says:

    The voice of Thom Yorke melts my heart. First it tears my heart out of my chest, then it skewers it on a stick, and then it thrusts it into a raging fire until it bubbles, pops, and slides off the stick like an ice cream cone in a heatwave that also happens to smell like burning flesh.

  8. elton says:

    that’s cool man, whatever turns you on you know? as for me i’d be more into kicking it to some will smith
    you know what i’m saying?

  9. elton says:

    just to follow up on what i said earlier – i just don’t get Deepresso. i mean, why would someone want to spend their money to get depressed? minako are you feelin me?

  10. bartlett van maulder III says:

    elton havent you ever felt depressed? i bet you think life is a comedy! well, for some of us its a tragedy! Deepresso speaks to us, elton. and we are entitled to our opinion!

  11. minako says:

    barlett are you gay guy?!? i m minako! im japanese girl, like music is hiphop and hiphop dance. i want make a friend with gayguy! you have a time write me back! chow, minako

  12. troy james macfarlaine says:

    radiohead are the only worthwhile group besides joy division to come out of the uk.

  13. admin says:

    what about robbie williams? or robbie williams?