Man Who Thinks He’s Funny, Isn’t

gobo

By Smia Oots, TORONTO – As sub zero temps blast through this sub-standard city of 17,000 tongues were wagging with a new-found consensus that seemed poised to derail the confidence of at least one Greater Toronto man.

A man, believing himself to be be funny for years, has been clinically proven to be unfunny.

“He’s – you’re, the opposite of funny,basically,” informed Larissa Underwood, 33,  author of  “Tamantha’s Kitchen”, which won the 2007 Governor General’s award for Best Canadian Book of Poetry.

Underwood was seconded by Mr Taro Shimizu, 59, a Japanese teacher of Japanese English in Tochigi, Japan.

“Maybe…it is Canadian joke, but in other words, Japanese don’t find it very funny it has been determined,” Mr Shimizu agreed with himself.

Another teacher whom Shimizu san lusts after in his free time, agreed.

“It is just wasting time, and so on,” informed Mrs Etsuko Hirosawa, 51, whom also teaches Japanese English students too poor to fork out enough bus fare to escape her evil clutches and whom declined to give her age although she looked like she was basically at the end of her life with bits sagging and well, falling off.

Yes indeed, the jury looks like it’s in.

“You can’t make the Internet funny,” piled on Ray Goolens, another random source for this article. “Most people are too tired when they get home from their jobbie to laugh aloud, and besides dude that’s just not what they want,” he went on.

According to Goolens and Billy, who often comments on posts in The Brutal Times in his unique unintelligible voice, people – unique visitors – Twits – want tips on weight loss, pets and celebrity crotch shots.

“Tone it down, Mr Brown,” Billy advised, turning his baseball cap backwards to show his allegiance to Satan.

“Drop the dumb jokes,” concurred Goolens. “Focus on the crotch shots.”

About Smia Oots

Smia Oots is a free-floating wild card racked up on painkillers and an automated sequence of commands who came to Tokyo to pursue her interest in social drinking. Always in search of new moments that can only live on in recollection, Oots asks we put the Enlightenment behind us, stat.
This entry was posted in Stories For Bottoms and tagged , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to Man Who Thinks He’s Funny, Isn’t

  1. billy says:

    i didnt say those things!

  2. cheesie "cheezie" manoletti says:

    then write your own bullshit

Don't Leave a Comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

You may use these HTML tags and attributes: <a href="" title=""> <abbr title=""> <acronym title=""> <b> <blockquote cite=""> <cite> <code> <del datetime=""> <em> <i> <q cite=""> <strike> <strong>