By Reiner Jones, HOLLYWOOD – Terrorists issued a formal apology to Madonna earlier today, citing the incident as a misunderstanding. “These things sometimes get taken out of context,” reported an extremist fringe militia member, Mohamed Johnston (23), who prefers not to be named. “It was very busy in the Madonna chat room that day, and an overzealous fan, not fanatic, made some comments which were somehow misconstrued.”
EFMM went on to explain that when this fan said he wanted to cut off both Madonna and Brittany Spears heads, what he really meant was that he wanted to have a head cutting. “This fan is quite a good singer – he once sang Coconut by Harry Nilsson so beautifully that he put a camel to sleep. Essentially what this young man wanted was to challenge Madonna to a singing contest. Nobody wants to harm Madonna, we all love the material girl!”
This isn’t the first time Madonna has received accidental threats. In 2006 the Dutch priest Rutger ‘Winky’ Erasmus was accused of phoning in bomb threats in an attempt to stop her from performing in Amsterdam. “I phoned in to say Madonna is the bomb,” the priest later admitted. He also claimed he had no idea she was going to perform a mock crucifixion on stage. “I thought she said she liked mock chicken. Who doesn’t?”
