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Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times
By DJ Salinger, LIVERPOOL – Why you getting back together? “Oh, a lot of things. Mainly the money,” the band’s lead singer said. Why’d you break up anyways? ”Oh, we hated each other. I mean I wanted to strangle [the […]
By The Serge, PITTSBURGH – People who look nice are nice, a landmark study by Billy, a tween, has found. ”See that guy over there? That guy with the mustache and the curly hair, with his wife?” The one in […]
By Billy, Belmopan, BELIZE – Hey, is it just me or is Mike Pompeo starting to look a lot like Kim Jong Un? “Who?” Mike Pompeo. “Mike who?” The CIA director-soon-to-be-U.S. secretary of state guy. “Huh.” So, does he look […]
By Helder Goff, Special to the Brutal Times, SPACE – Space, the final frontier. No one was supposed to go there, but they did. Probably that’s why, increasingly, God has been busting up their space ships.
“Actually, we don’t know if it’s God that’s been doing it, or some other kids or something,” claimed Gus VanderBilt, 11, designer of Finland’s famed Zolftschatz, which is Ikean for “Zolftschatz.”
By Styles Cradgerock, SCOTLAND – Scotland. Home of haggis, chips, boat trips on the Seine. The land of Mel Gibson and Oliver Twist. Home of the twist. Birthplace of sherlock Holmes. Home of former heavyweight champion Larry Holmes. Where ice cream is free and driving is only permitted for children.
Still, few have ever heard of it.
By Smia Oots, SOUTH BRONX – If you’ve been thinking most people named Neil are hard to get along with you’re not alone says a recently released document from Internet super snooper Edward Snowden, 36.
“People – persons – named Neil are notorious dicks.”