Warm Topic Archives: the brutal times

My Son Is Spending Too Much Time In His Room

Dear Damien, I am a stay at home mom. My son Mango spends alot of time using your invention the internet. That’s all fine & dandy and I am glad you made it because you are an American like myself. […]

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My Friend’s Friend Is In Al Qaeda!

TOKYO, Japan (CNN) — Japan’s justice minister said “a friend of a friend … is a member of al Qaeda” and had entered the country several times, using various passports, an officer of the Justice Ministry told CNN. Hatoyama says […]

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Why Won`t My Friend Text Me Back?

Dear Daemon, I keep texting my fiend Marcie and she wont text me back! is there something i can do to make her text me back?!? I need her to respond to my messages because otherwise how am i supposed […]

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Subway Cushion Soups a Smash in San Francisco

By Grande Chef Otto, SAN FRANCISCO – The sound of the City of Love’s treasured trolleys may be magic to the ears of the millions of mutton-chopped foreign visitors this sleepy California coastal villa receives each year, but lately locals […]

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Thom Yorke Addicted To Bananas

LONDON, England (The Brutal Times)- A man named Thom Yorke who locals say sings songs for the punk rock group “Radio Heads” is reported to be addicted to bananas. The shocking new news was broken by the band’s long-time best […]

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Visors And Gloves Too Little Too Late Says Japan Health

By Ohashi Jozu, TOKYO – With the world’s largest aging population (78 million Japanese are currently over 80 years of age) the tiny island nation of Japan has what you might call a national obsession with national health. Newspapers, television […]

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Rock And Roll Hall Of Fame Pulls Plug On Old Time Rock And Roll

CLEVELAND (INFOSANDWICH)- After enduring the soothing syrup of “My Generation” performed by a 78-year-old Pete Townshend and 62-year-old father of five Roger Daltrey backed by a four-piece Hawaiian ukelele orchestra during The Who`s 1990 Rock and Roll Hall of Fame […]

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