Special to The Brutal Times, By Janice – Ooh I hate my fucking computer! I know it’s bad to swear and in the Christmas season because of the Baby Jesus etc but OMG if my computer was a person I’d drag it outside by its pubes and beat it in the street! I’d use the tire iron from the garage to bust open its chasis and reach in and rip out its innards with my bare hands and then stomp stomp stomp the innards into shards shards shards and then mush mush mush the shards into dust dust dust and then snort snort snort the dust dust dust until globulents rush into my brain basin and out all orifices and more more more and then in the ambulance when they give me mouth to mouth spew spew spew the computer up up up!
My computer has the fucking balls the nerve the useless sense that it can disobey me who is its master and owner and whose pursuit of happiness it fucking dares to shit on.
This computer sucked up my data into hidden places.
It refused to open files.
It would not connect to the Internet.
It used Linux.
I know it is Christmas; I am not a fool.
Still, is not Christmas a time for justice in the Bible?
Well.
And I know for a fact there are others like me. Even in Europe, where they can’t speak Japanese.
Yes.
And so I feel all correct and cosy inside.
that computer has so much convenience to offer our lives! you should be thankful!