By Rabeezio Rabeezio, Alaska, THE NORTH POLE – Little is known about Sen. John McCain’s newly announced running mate Sarah Palin. But you can count on The Brutal Times to bring you the stories no one else can. We’ve uncovered what could be a bombshell once Obama’s people get their hands on it.
Four years ago, in a small town outside Anchorage, little Styler Bruhennan had just scored the winning goal in the city’s ‘Little Moose’ Ice Hockey tournament for under 10s. He was awarded the game puck which was presented to him by the mayor. The local newspaper quoted little Styler as saying, “This is the happiest day of my life, I’ll cherish this puck ’til the day I die.”
Enter Sarah Palin, affectionately known by neighbors as ‘that woman who hates hockey’. Relations with a rebel group of 8 year olds who played street hockey on the road in front of her house had steadily been growing colder for weeks. Amidst growing tensions in the region, the young renegade little Styler showed up to the game brandishing his magic puck, of course an uproar ensued.
The cacophony pushed Palin over the edge, she emerged from her front door with fire in her eyes. In an unprovoked campaign of shock and awe Palin snatched the puck from little Styler’s tiny fingers, and tossed it deep out into Sleeping Duckling Lake, which lay just beyond the hockey net.
Needless to say Styler was devastated, he missed three days of school and forgot to finish his math homework twice.
Palin however appeared unremorseful when approached by brutal times award winning war correspondent, Styles Cradgerock. “The Brutal Times?! You want a quote? Here’s a quote you scumbag, I don’t regret throwing that little punk’s puck in the lake, if I had the chance to do it again I’d have thrown him in the lake as well!”
Could this be the incident for which the McCain campaign dubbed Palin a ‘Hockey Mom’?!?