Monthly Archives: April 2008

Do You Have a Headache in Your Stomach?

April 22, 2008

By Dr McGillicutty, MOUNT SUMERU – Each week I’m greeted by the mule pack mail mountain man who crosses many wonderful and terrible realms to bring me what I would classify as a f**king s**tload of letters from you, my […]

Posted in Sick Bay | Tagged , , , , , | 3 Comments

Japanese Man Critiques Bukowski

April 19, 2008

By Yves Dropper, Tokyo, SHIBUYA – Fri. Apr. 18/Tower Records 9th Floor English Books Section 8:42pm – The Brutal Times is standing reading a Charles Bukowski novel. A fucker comes up. “You…liiike it?!?” Big eyes. Big face. Free English. “I […]

Posted in Conversational Gold | Tagged , , , , , , , | 5 Comments

Double-Barrelled Secret Brutal Parties Hit Tokyo

April 10, 2008

By Smia Oots TOKYO – The twin sister cities of Shimokitazawa and Higashi-Kitazawa, located in the opulent Setagaya district are heavily-rumored to be the sites of unprecedented late-night bacchanalia this Saturday night, The Brutal Times has learned. Shawna Hailbloom, a […]

Posted in Japan | Tagged , , , , , | 1 Comment

Hillary Woos Goth Vote

April 7, 2008

By Styles Cradgerock PENNSYLVANIA – Second place finish candidate for the Democratic presidential nomination Hillary “Hot” Rodham Clinton is far from “rolling over and playing dead,” her campaign spokesperson Haylie Grahame declared in confidence late yesterday evening. Ms Clinton has […]

Posted in Presidential Daily Brief | Tagged , , , , , , , | 4 Comments

Ancient Mayan Food Pyramid Unearthed

By Grande Chef Otto MEXICO (Tijuana) – Brutal April showers the last few weeks have kept Stateside tourists from making their annual after spring break pilgrimages to this holy city adding to the woes of local street musicians and artisans who survive by selling their creations to visiting US thrillseekers.

But early reports this morning suggest that Tijuana’s stormclouds may yet possess a silver lining.

Posted in Featured Brutality, Grande Chef Otto | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | 6 Comments